Many of us have an old saying or two that comes to mind when times are tough or we need to get back on track.
This too shall pass reminds us no matter how low we feel, the event or issue of the moment is not permanent. The clouds will eventually part, the sun will rise again and we will have another chance.
Treat people today how you’d like to be treated tomorrow is a modern version of the classic Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. When stress or tension make us snappy and irritable, this adage gently reminds us next time around we could be on the receiving end of someone’s sharp remarks, so engage brain before speaking.
Even Dr. Phil has a couple of favourites:
- How’s that working for you? is a great way to zero in on unhealthy actions and thoughts we perceive to be the answer to our problems. It’s a quick reality check to remind us that repeating the same behaviour but expecting different results, just doesn’t cut it. Nothing’s going to change unless we change our inner workings or how we deal with an issue.
- His approach to relationships also provides a simple and effective action towards creating harmony – every day ask yourself, What can I do to make my partner’s day better? Then do it.
Can we carry over these tools for living to the workplace? Absolutely. We spend eight hours a day with our colleagues, and relationships in the office are not immune to complexity. Coworkers deserve the same respect we give our loved ones and friends/ Treating everyone well can do wonders towards creating a cohesive, healthy environment. Too often, we let our own inner critics manifest insecurities, self-doubt and (usually unfounded) fears, into impatience, judgement and sarcasm towards others at work. Let’s look at couple of scenarios where Grandma’s favourite words can come in handy:
Scenario One
There’s a new hire on your doorstep.You’ve been asked to show them how things work.
It’s tempting to tell the recruit everything that’s not right with the job, and download your personal frustrations, not overtly—that wouldn’t be professional—but through inference, inside jokes and by floating sarcasm. That’s when we say things like: “Well, you’d expect that to be the case, but it never happens here. Too bad, but that’s just the way it is—management just doesn’t get it”. Sigh heavily.
Here’s where you can treat the newcomer the way you’d like to be treated if it was your first day on the job. Remember your own beginning, and if it was great and people made you feel welcome by introducing you around and helping you feel comfortable, do the same. If your experience wasn’t so hot and you were totally confused and frustrated by noon on day one, there’s no need to repeat the same pattern.
Avoid bringing the new person up to date on all the office gossip, and enlightening them on everything you feel is wrong. It’s all too easy to let our personal experiences colour our remarks. Let them form their own opinions over time. And instead of using watermelon speak (that’s when we talk in excessive jargon and make something so super complicated that to the listener, it just sounds like “watermelon, watermelon, watermelon”), keep it simple. Let them absorb, then add more information as time goes on.
Scenario Two
You’re asked to help out in another department yet again. Why can’t they get their act together? Why should you have to put your own work aside and lend a hand?
Here’s where Dr. Phil’s philosophy comes in handy. Consider your colleagues as partners. You all work for the same organization, albeit in different departments. The end goal of the company is what matters here, not a personal agenda. What can you do to help them achieve your mutual, overall objective? In a crisis, everyone pulls together.
Look at it this way: If there was a flood threatening your home, the goal would be to save as much important stuff as you could before you leave: people, pets, crucial papers, etc. Would you just save your own personal possessions, then watch your partner struggle with the rest? Unlikely. Working together to achieve a goal is what gets results.
Once a crisis is over, a review of what happened and how to avoid a repeat situation is a good management practice. Many companies hold postmortems after projects and unexpected events, to identify what worked well and pinpoint gaps that need to be resolved. There is a reason the other department needed help. It could be a shortage of staff, lack of training or inadequate procedures. The middle of the crisis is not the time to figure it out. What can we do to help our colleagues, not just complain about it? Pitch in and get the job done first.
Taking initiative and staying cool under pressure is the sign of a problem solver—always an asset to colleagues and the company alike. And remember that other old saying, What goes around, comes around. You may just need help yourself one day.
We’d love to hear what expressions and truisms work for you. Do you have any favourites you silently say to yourself when faced with dilemmas at work?