Wouldn’t it be great to wave a magic wand and instantly find our dreams come true? Our waistlines would be smaller, our blood pressure lower, our finances would be a thing of beauty, our work less stressful, our Olympic gold medal collection bigger, and our relationships wonderful.
Unfortunately, along with a shortage of lottery winners, there seems to be a shortage of magic wands.
There is something we can do to make the magic happen: start small. Yes, you read that correctly – begin by addressing one small thing at a time in the ocean of changes you’d like to make.
Our brains tell us there’s no point in starting a new eating regime because we’ve tried that before and it didn’t work. We feel discouraged about finding a better job and can easily rhyme off all the reasons it won’t happen: I’m too old, there’s too much competition, I’m not tech-savvy enough – on and on. Stop right there. The only thing holding us back from achieving a new state of being is our thinking. Or rather, how we think.
There’s an old saying: You can’t get there from here. This mean it’s hard to solve a problem or develop new habits if you try to tackle it from where you are right now. In other words, using the same thinking that got you into the situation won’t work when you try to change it. It’s why, despite our best intentions, that diets fail, exercise plans fall apart, old habits don’t seem to budge, and nothing seems to change.
If a change seems too huge to tackle, try using your brain in a slightly different way to come up with a plan.
The most basic part of our brain tells us to not bother, to back away, to protect ourselves from possible threats, and is based in fear (of failure). The emotional part of our brain helps us get excited about possibilities and we tell everyone about our plans, then feel remorseful or embarrassed the first time we revert to old habits. The reasoning part of our brain is the one to tap into when we want to make a change.
Here’s how to do it:
- Identify what you want to change
- Listen to your internal dialogue – is it fear based or emotional?
- Observe how you react. Do you not bother starting, or have a preconceived notion of failure? Are you gung-ho or secretly pessimistic?
- Recognize the state you are in from an objective viewpoint, as if you are observing the situation and not directly involved. Don’t judge, just observe.
- Identify one reasonable step you can take towards the overall change you want to make.
- Identify another step to take after you’re comfortable with the first one. Keep your objective frame of mind and don’t expect perfection, just progress.
Huh? Here’s an example.
- I want to become healthier. To me, this means losing twenty pounds, having normal blood pressure, and being able to climb a flight of stairs without losing my breath. I think it’s reasonable to see a change within the next six months. (Specific, measurable goal)
- In the past, I’ve tried lots of diets and spent tons of money on exercise equipment and gym memberships, but here I am, still twenty pounds overweight, with high blood pressure now and clothes that feel too tight. I’m mad at myself for letting myself get to this point. I feel stressed out and have next to no energy. I’m tired of feeling tired. No matter what I try, nothing works. Maybe I’m just meant to be like this. Maybe I am doomed to fail in the health department. (Internal dialogue)
- Interesting… I seem to beat myself up and then rationalize why I’m in the state I’m in. I do know I’ll feel better with a few pounds off and although I have no desire to be Canada’s next top model, there are things I can do to improve my health and get in better shape. Nothing is impossible. ( Objective reasoning)
- My first step will be to figure out how much salt I’m consuming. I know it’s a big source of blood pressure problems. I’ll start by reading the back of packages to see just how much is added to processed food. I have a feeling I’ll be shocked, but I need to know this basic information if I’m going to make a change. I’d like to limit my salt intake to between 1,500 and 2,200 milligrams a day, and will gradually reduce my current intake by making better food choices. (Notice how the step is not to cut out all treats, deprive yourself of all food you like, to suffer or follow a fad diet. It’s simply to increase your awareness of one thing known to contribute to poor health. And then, armed with new knowledge, take a step towards making a change that moves you closer to your overall goal of becoming healthier).
- One month later: I feel less bloated and better already. I’ve lost four pounds without really trying. My blood pressure rate is coming down, my doctor is thrilled and I feel motivated to add another step. I’m signing up for a healthy cooking class and made an appointment with a nutritionist. Onwards! (Add another step)
Does this seem simplistic or idealistic? If so, what part of your brain is telling you that? Just try it, you’ll like it.
They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them for yourself.
– Andy Warhol